Yeah sorta … but that’s not entirely true. I mean I change the blog theme every couple of weeks.
I know, I know … it’s not enough and I ought to write and stuff when I proclaim so unabashedly my commitment to the blog. Still though it is tough, it is tough to write consistently. I took up a lot of stuff to do in the last six months simultaneously. And that is only because I can’t be held back by one project. I get bored if I work in a loop and that too, very quickly. Consequently, my productivity goes down and the project suffers perennially. On the other hand, it is amazing that I still feel enthralled to find new things to learn. I think LEARNING might be the one thing that I would be consistently good at, all through my life. Studying different subjects and discovering their real world application just fills me up. I feel so proud after solving a problem I go to the extent of rewarding myself by feasting on my mum’s pudding (kheer).
The option to switch between different projects keeps me pepped up. This blog is one of those many ventures, but it is more – it is personal. Though my blog has suffered neglect from me, it has remained – like a friend I know I can call in the oddest of hour. And, this is a particularly odd hour.
Having spent hours on learning stuff and not being able to apply it to solve the problem leaves me extremely critical of myself and my methods. This is one of those hours. And I write this post deeply reflective of what I want to be OR should I say what I want to do. Yes, I think that is the right question to ask… what do I want to do with my life?
I could be nobody and still live through the years without regrets, but I could never live without doing something. To me, life is no more than a flicker of a match-stroke. Though a lighted match can light up a room, the flame gradually abates and dies out eventually leaving the room dark as before. Our lives are nothing but the evanescence of a lighted match and we fantastically overlook this ephemerality of our existence because we are too busy trying to be somebody.
A match has no utility, no meaning if it burns to the end. However, if it were to light a torch its existence would be infinitely useful to a world engulfed in darkness as other torches are lit from the original. I want my life to be the match that lighted a torch, started a movement, solved a problem, created a solution. That would give meaning to my life. And so I go on learning one thing from another in the hope that I will be able to fix something some day and that the flame of invention & innovation is kept alive.